Shabby Chic Boho Open any app right now, and it’s like confidence has been turned into a shopping list, which is honestly really unfortunate to say here. Like, maybe you’re just trying to rediscover your confidence as a mother, but here you are, wanting to improve yourself, but it’s like you have to have money for it. Like confidence and feeling good is somehow now marketed as a luxury, like it’s for the elite or something.
Plus, celebrities and influencers are loudly, constantly pushing the “glow up” idea, and it’s not subtle. There’s Ozempic talk, the whole heroin chic throwback thing that keeps popping up, Botox, fillers, trendy clothes that change every five seconds, and the casual way people act like tweaking your face is as normal as getting your hair done. It’s clearly a problem, and sure, sometimes it can cost a bit of resources to feel confident, not always, but sometimes.
But what little resources you have, especially money (and time too), shouldn’t be spent on gimmicks; it shouldn’t be spent on something expensive, something you can’t commit to, it should be spent on things that can actually work. Something that basically pays you back rather than feeling wasted. But what though?
What a Confidence Budget Even Means
Which sounds a bit weird and maybe even a tiny bit fancy, right? Well, it doesn’t need to be; you might have already been doing this without even labelling it as is. So, a confidence budget is just a way to think about what strengthens self-trust and what chips away at it. Some things cost time, some things cost money, some things cost energy, and the tricky part is that plenty of confidence-drainers feel “normal.”
Just think about it for just a moment, too, like overcommitting feels responsible. People-pleasing feels polite. Doomscrolling feels like a break. Ignoring basic needs feels productive. You probably get the idea here, but then it all adds up, and someone ends up feeling strangely insecure and worn down, even if life looks fine from the outside. Basically, the goal here isn’t to turn life into a strict self-improvement project. It’s to spend resources on things that actually pay confidence back. Meaning, it’s probably not going to be instant gratification or anything like that.
Where Should the Time Go?
Well, time is the part of the budget that gets spent without permission. So, a day disappears, and somehow the important stuff didn’t happen, but the exhausting stuff sure did. So when confidence is the goal, time has to go to things that create proof. Proof is what builds self-trust. Basically, here, proof is what makes someone feel like, they can basically handle what life throws at them.
That usually means spending time on small follow-through, the boring stuff that makes tomorrow less stressful. It’s time spent keeping one or two promises to yourself, not a whole fantasy schedule that collapses the moment something unexpected happens. Really, that’s the problem here, just instantly wanting to jump to your dream self, your dream schedule, but you can’t do that overnight.
Money Spent On Confidence Should Reduce Daily Friction
Well, it’s obvious here, it’s the elephant in the room, but money is a sensitive part of any budget, because not everyone has extra to throw around. But even without spending a lot, it helps to think about confidence spending like this: does it reduce daily friction, or is it just a quick hit that fades? Honestly, some purchases create stability.
Like, go ahead and think of things that make daily life smoother, like replacing the shoes that hurt, getting a haircut that’s easier to maintain, seeing a cometic dentist for teeth whitening so you can keep consistent dental habits up, upgrading something that causes stress every day, setting up a more functional workspace, and investing in something that supports health habits. Sure, these sound super generic, almost boring even. But they do reduce some of that background irritation, though.
How to Spend Energy without Feeling Drained all the Time
Well, energy is a big one, because confidence disappears fast when someone feels exhausted and overstimulated. Like, it’s hard to feel grounded when the nervous system is running on fumes. It pretty much just means energy has to stop being donated to things that don’t deserve it.
So, a huge energy leak is over-explaining. People say yes when they mean no, then burn energy maintaining the yes. People accept disrespect because they don’t want to cause tension, then spend the rest of the day replaying it in their head.
People try to be “easy” and “low maintenance,” then quietly feel resentful because their needs never get met. Confidence grows when energy is protected. Read that again, and maybe a couple more times. While yes, sometimes you have to invest energy in things you might not want to (maybe in the moment), like in maintaining relationships, taking care of your kids, your pets, and so on. But this is more about overextending yourself to the point it’s just unhealthy.
Stop Spending Confidence On People Who Don’t Deserve It
Well, confidence gets spent in relationships more than people realize. When someone is constantly around judgmental energy, passive-aggressive comments, or people who only show up when it benefits them, confidence gets taxed. Everyone has people like that in their life, everyone does, maybe it’s someone you love, or, well, supposed to love.
And no, it’s not quiet, or stealthy, or whatever else, you usually get into a mad mood immediately (and then try and mask it, which makes things even worse. It can happen even in small ways, like feeling obligated to keep up with someone who makes little digs, or staying in a dynamic where respect is inconsistent. But really just stop dealing with them, maybe not a major breakup, or ghosting them, or directly cutting them off (unless it’s necessary), but maybe put them on the back burner or something
Since every relationship is different and every person is different, it’s going to be up to you on how you address it.
Featured image: Photo by Yaroslav Shuraev: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-applying-cosmetic-product-on-her-face-while-looking-at-mirror-6811025/
