Shabby Chic Boho Life is busy. Life is stressful. Life is fast paced. Sometimes, this can be good, but when we have too much of the fast paced lifestyle that most of us seem to lead today it can lead to us feeling stressed out, tired and even burnt out completely if we go too long without chilling out and having a break.
That’s why it is so important that we all take time out regularly to relax and de-stress but the thing is, many of us find it hard to switch off and just be for a while, and that means that we never get to truly decompress and refresh ourselves so that we can handle the stresses and strains of life more effectively.
If you are one of those people who finds it impossible to relax, then keep reading because I’ve put together a list of things that might just help you to find your chill.
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Stop Trying to Relax on Command
It might sound counterintuitive, but trying to relax can actually make it much more difficult for you to actually achieve a relaxed state. When you make relaxation just another goal or task that you need to tick off, then it is only going to keep you in a state of alertness and making an effortfulness, which is really not the best way to relax, right?
Instead, shift your focus to activities that gently absorb your attention. This could be folding laundry, doodling, watering plants, or listening to an audiobook. Relaxation often happens as a side effect of feeling safe and engaged, not as a direct objective.
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Breathe Slower, Not Deeper
Many people will advise you to take lots of long, deep breaths if you want to relax and find your chill, but deep breathing can sometimes increase anxiety if it feels unnatural or forced. A more effective strategy is to slow your breathing down.
Try inhaling through your nose for four seconds and exhaling through your mouth for six seconds. Longer exhales signal your nervous system that it’s safe to settle. Even two or three minutes of slower breathing can begin to reduce physical tension.
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Give Your Body a Predictable Signal
Your body is able to relax more effectively when it recognizes familiar signals telling it to do so, so it would be sensible for you to develop one or more signals that say “Time to relax!” The easiest way to do this is to create one or two regular wind-down routines that you can follow when you want to relax. These can train your nervous system to anticipate rest.
This might include dimming lights at the same time each night, making a specific herbal tea, stretching gently, or playing the same calming music. Over time, these cues can trigger relaxation automatically, without conscious effort.
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Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Senses
If your mind tends to race, grounding yourself in your senses can help interrupt anxious thought loops. Pick one sense and focus on it fully for a minute or two.
Notice five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, or one thing you can taste. This technique anchors you in the present moment and gives your brain a break from constant analysis.
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Move Gently, Not Intensely
While intense workouts are great for stress relief for some people, they can be overstimulating for others, especially if you’re already feeling wired or overwhelmed.
Gentle movement such as walking, stretching, yoga, or slow dancing can be more effective for relaxation. These activities release tension while keeping your nervous system regulated, rather than pushing it into overdrive.
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Let Your Mind Wander on Purpose
Trying to “clear your mind” can feel impossible if your thoughts are constantly jumping around. Instead, give your mind permission to wander in a controlled way.
Daydream about a peaceful place, imagine a future trip, or replay a comforting memory. Guided imagery and visualization exercises work because they redirect mental energy instead of suppressing it.
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Limit Stimulation Before You’re Overstimulated
If you wait until you’re completely overwhelmed to try to relax, it becomes much harder. Pay attention to early signs of overstimulation, such as irritability, restlessness, or difficulty focusing.
Reducing screen time, lowering background noise, and stepping away from social media earlier in the day can prevent your nervous system from becoming overloaded. Relaxation is much easier when you’re not already running on empty.
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Explore Calming Rituals That Feel Right to You
Relaxation looks different for everyone. Some people find comfort in baths, candles, or journaling, while others prefer music, creative hobbies, or quiet time alone.
For some adults, mindful use of calming substances may also play a role in their relaxation routine. For example, an infused flower can be incorporated thoughtfully by those who find it helps ease tension and support a more relaxed state of mind. As with any wellness tool, personal comfort, legality, and moderation are key.
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Release Physical Tension First
Mental relaxation often follows physical relaxation and not the other way round. Progressive muscle relaxation is a simple way to release stored tension from your body.
Starting at your feet, gently tense a muscle group for five seconds, then release it completely. Move slowly upward through your body. This contrast between tension and release helps your nervous system recognize what relaxation actually feels like.
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Practice Self-Compassion When Relaxation Feels Hard
Perhaps the most important thing you can do is stop judging yourself for struggling to relax. Finding it hard to switch off is a normal part of modern human life, and not a personal failure on your part.
Speak to yourself the way you would to a friend: with patience and understanding. The more you create an internal environment of safety and acceptance, the easier it becomes for your body to let its guard down.
Relaxation is not always an easy switch to flip, but if you try the above and you don’t make a big deal of it you will find relaxation gets easier to come by each day.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-holding-gray-ceramic-mug-846080/
