The divorce rate in America has dropped over the past few years by 18%. This statistic is a positive one and might be due to more couples seeking therapy or a few other factors. As the divorce rate drops, you might find yourself wondering, “should I get divorced.”
Although fewer marriages are ending in divorce, it doesn’t mean that you should force yourself to stay in yours if it’s simply not working. If you’ve tried to seek counseling or couples therapy or have tried to work on things between the two of you at home with no change, then it might be time to take a step back and reevaluate the situation.
There are a few divorce warning signs that you’ll want to know about to help you decide if it’s time to go your separate ways. Don’t be stuck in confusion any longer. Continue reading below for our list of signs signaling it’s time for a divorce.
1. Changes in Personality
Think about how many years you and your partner have been together. Did you marry or begin dating at a young age? How old were you two then compared to now?
Sometimes, two people can be the perfect match for one another during a certain moment in time but suddenly grow apart. This is because we’re not the same people in our late teens or early twenties compared to our thirties and older.
When couples get together at a young age, it may work out for a number of years but eventually, the two of you become different people. Your personalities change. You experience growth and either grow together or apart.
If you’ve grown apart, then this could be a sign it’s time for a new chapter for both of you.
2. Disagreement on Major Topics
Every marriage or relationship will have its disagreements. There’s no need to end a marriage due to a few disagreements over small things. When you’re dealing with disagreements on major topics, then it’s time to start contemplating a divorce.
There are some things that are deal-breakers within marriages, but these deal-breakers aren’t the same for everyone. Write down a list of your own deal-breakers for your marriage. Maybe you want children and your spouse doesn’t.
Maybe you want to move out of state, and your spouse doesn’t. How many deal-breakers are the two of you willing to compromise with? How many are neither of you budging on?
Disagreements on major topics like these could mean divorce in the future.
3. Prioritizing Work Over Marriage
Working is a priority for many couples. Bills need to be paid, and the two of you need a certain amount of money each month to live comfortably.
There should be a balance, however. When work begins to become a priority over your marriage, this could become a problem. This is true whether it’s you or your spouse that decides to take on more hours at work or work late into the evenings and on the weekends.
Is money the real issue here, or is it something else? Is work becoming an escape to get away from the relationship? This is something that should be addressed.
4. Losing Yourself Along the Way
When you marry someone, the two of you become one. This doesn’t mean you’re supposed to lose your own identity, though. Have you realized that you’ve lost yourself in this marriage?
When’s the last time you did something for yourself, something you love, or something that makes you happy? Did you once have career or life dreams that you set aside for your marriage?
If your partner can’t accept you wanting to find yourself again and pursue your own interests, then this could be a sign it’s time for a divorce.
5. Lack of Healthy Communication
Communication is key in any relationship. If the two of you can no longer communicate with one another, then you can expect major troubles down the road. When what could be normal conversations always turn into yelling and shouting, then your communication needs work.
How can you and your partner come together to work on communication skills? In what ways will you both refrain from raising your voices and communicate your feelings or emotions in a healthy manner?
If this isn’t something you can do, then you’ll have many relationship issues.
6. Trust Is Non-Existent
Trust is another major factor in relationships. Was there something that happened in the past that’s now caused trust issues? There are ways to rebuild trust in a relationship but doing so is a lot of work and takes a lot of effort on both spouses.
If you currently deal with multiple trust issues within the marriage, and they can’t be worked out, then you may be better off starting your own new chapter in life.
7. Intimacy Is Not Ideal
Trust, love, and communication are what create the foundation of any relationship. Without all 3 of them, your marriage is in danger. Is the love still there?
When’s the last time you felt those butterflies in your stomach? When’s the last time you felt in love? If you haven’t felt this way in a while, it doesn’t mean it’s the definite end of the marriage.
The flame can be sparked again, but it’s something you’ll need to work on. If not, it might be time to learn how to start a divorce.
8. Overwhelming Feeling of Toxicity
Has your relationship begun to feel more like a forced roommate situation rather than a loving marriage? There shouldn’t be an overwhelming feeling of toxicity in your relationship.
Sure, there will be challenges to face together, but the majority of the marriage should be easy. It should be easy to spend time with one another, to live together, and to love one another.
Any marriage with toxic habits such as abuse, violence, verbal abuse, or something similar shouldn’t continue.
Finding Yourself Wondering, “Should I Get Divorced?” It’s Time for Some Answers
Asking yourself, “should I get divorced,” usually means you’ve been considering the idea for quite some time now. If you and your partner battle with any of these marriage problems listed above, then it might be time to look into getting a divorce.
If your marriage no longer brings you happiness, then you either want to work on correcting the issues or move onto a new chapter in life.
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