Terri Ramsey Beavers A lot of the time as parents, we may feel as though we are not doing the best we possibly can for our kids. This could be for a number of reasons such as they don’t have the latest toy or gadget, or because we have to leave them to go to work sometimes. It’s a tough life being a parent, but it’s also the best one that there is. If you feel as though you’re not being the best parent you can possibly be, you need to try to pinpoint why so that you can work through this.
In this article, we’re going to be taking a look at some of the things that you can do in order to be the best parent possible. As such, if you are struggling right now, take a look at this list and see if you are doing the things on it. If you are, then we promise you that you are already the best. Keep reading if you would like to find out more.
Learn With Them
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The first thing that you will need to do is learn with your kids. Of course, you’re older so you don’t need to learn your alphabet and stuff like 2 year olds do, but you can still do it with them. The same goes for everything as they are growing up, and while you may not be learning the same things that they are, you are also learning at this time. When you have a kid, your whole life changes and you need to adapt to fit this new little person into your life. You learn together, and you grow together because you are a different person now to who you were before you had the baby.
As long as you are freely accepting the lessons that life is giving you, this is the important thing. Sometimes it will teach you to teach your child in a different way to what you thought you would have to. Sometimes it will teach you to have more patience, and so on. Having a child is always an experience, and they are not the only ones who learn while growing up.
Show Up
The most important thing that you can do as a parent, and the thing that makes you the best possible parent in our minds is that you show up. You are there when your kids need you. This could be when they need you to magic something up the night before school because they forgot to tell you until the last minute. Or, it could be when they are sick at night and just need cuddles from their favorite person in the world. We know that you are tired, and we know that if you are a working parent that you are busy, but if you continue to show up despite all of this, then you are the best type of parent out there.
This doesn’t mean that you have to be around your kid all the time though. You can give them their independence to learn and grow, without crowding and smothering them. You can still show up without going over the top.
Teach Them Things
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It is your job to teach your kids a lot of things in life. When they are little it starts with basic things such as how to use a spoon, how to say numbers and so no. When they get older, it becomes important for you to teach them certain life lessons that they are going to carry with them for the rest of their years. As a parent, you are a teacher, a friend, a confidant and the person that loves them most in the whole world, but sometimes this means teaching them tough things.
You can never shy away from the more awkward or embarrassing conversations as all you do here is teach them that there is something to be ashamed about. You have got to be able to maintain a demeanor that shows them that it is okay to talk about these things to you, and that there is no need to be embarrassed. It might not be the most comfortable thing for you in the world, but you can’t let this show.
Let Them Make Their Own Mistakes
One of the hardest parts about being a parent is letting your kids make their own mistakes. You don’t want to, we know. It’s hard to watch your kids do something, knowing that it isn’t going to work and that they are going to be upset about it. However, the only way to learn in life is to experience things for yourself. You can tell your kids 1000 times that something won’t work, or that touching something hot is going to burn them, but until they experience it for themselves they are never going to fully understand.
Of course, we are not suggesting that you deliberately ignore dangerous mistakes or don’t at least try to guide them the right way when necessary. You need to be selective though, because in certain cases, like with partners, if you try to intervene, it may end up with them pushing you far away.
Offer Support, Not Judgment
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You may not agree with all of the choices your child makes throughout the years, and that is okay. You don’t have to, but you do need to accept them. Ask yourself every time whether it’s worth losing your child to an opinion, because we guarantee you that the majority of the time, the answer is going to be no. When your kid opens up to you, you need to be there to offer support and not judgment. You need to talk to them about what they are saying, and then work with them to give them the support they are looking for.
You have to remember that it is not your life they are living, and this means that they should be able to follow whatever path they feel is right for them. We won’t lie to you and say that it will always be easy to do this, but you will because you need to.
It’s Not About Possessions
It’s not, nor has it ever been, about the possessions owned by a child. It doesn’t matter if they have a few toys that they love or toys coming out of their ears. It doesn’t matter if they have the latest tech gadget or the one that came before it. None of that matters. Too many parents think that they have to give their kids the best of everything, including all of the up-to-date technology but this simply isn’t true. You need to be able to give your kids the love, attention, and affection that they deserve, and nothing less.
If you put too much focus on the material things in life, then this is never going to work out in your favor. You will spend too much time focusing on the wrong things, and the time that you should have been spending with your kids will pass you by. We know that this is not what you want, and it just means that you need to get your priorities in order.
Always Do Your Best
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Are you doing your best? This is the question that we want you to ask yourself at the end of the day when the kids are in bed and you are relaxing or doing whatever it is that you do when they go to bed. Have you done your best today? Did you do everything you could with what you had? If the answer is yes, then this is good enough. It’s not possible to be at 100% and be our best selves every single day of our lives. Some days, it’s just got to be enough that you aren’t going to be at your best. That doesn’t mean that you are not trying, and it doesn’t mean that what you’re doing isn’t great.
Your best is all that anyone can ever ask for you, and if you are consistently giving it, that’s all that matters. If you think that you aren’t giving your best though, try again tomorrow. There is always grace and forgiveness in tomorrow, no matter how big or small your little ones are.
We hope that you have found this article helpful, and now see some of the things that you can do to be the best parent that you can possibly be. It’s important that you are always taking the time to reflect on the day at the end of it, even when you feel as though you have messed up. You are still a good parent if you are doing everything that you can for your kids. Sure, we have days where we could have been more patient, but we are only human too, so it’s time to give yourself a little grace. You are trying, and that is worth more than anything else. We wish you the very best of luck.