Family Feuds – The 4 Most Common Argument Triggers And How to Defuse Them

Family Feuds - The 4 Most Common Argument Triggers And How to Defuse Them

Sometimes you’re going to fight with the people you love. It’s a normal part of life and as long as it isn’t happening all the time and you’re communicating like adults rather than bickering like toddlers, it’s probably not anything to be too concerned about. While we can’t promise you sunshine and rainbows all the time, we can offer some advice on the most common argument triggers and how to defuse them:

Money Problems

Finances are one of the most stressful components of adult life so it makes sense that they would be one of the top reasons families fight. If you’re dealing with a long-running argument, it’s probably time to revisit your budget and see what changes need to be made but if your fight is the result of an unexpected expense, you could find your resolution in the realm of low-interest loans.

Imbalance In Chores

Another common cause of discontent is the household workload. Balancing washing, dishes, bathroom duty and general chores with family time, exercise and your workload is hard enough without feeling like there is an imbalance in who’s doing what. Instead of waiting for an argument to arise, sit down and have a civil, organized conversation about who’s expected to do what around the house, even go as far as creating a chore chart if you have to. You’d be surprised by how much of a difference this can make and you’ll be thankful you had the chat when your home is running like a well-oiled machine.

Those with children in the household can turn this into a competition or fun game by having stickers for when they complete a task. At the end of a set time period, whoever has the most stickers gets a prize.

The Future 

Goals and desires for the future can also cause arguments if they don’t align. Perhaps it’s a big issue such as you wanting children but your partner doesn’t or maybe it’s something more negotiable such as where you want to live. It could even be as small as which of the two parties you’ve been invited to this weekend that you should attend. No matter what the issue is, it’s important to make sure you’re on the same page in order to avoid a blow-up. The easiest way to do this is to regularly check in with each other about smaller things and plan your larger goals together. This way you know whether it’s something you’re willing to compromise on and you can map out your future accordingly. 


We’ve all heard the saying time is money but it’s actually a lot more valuable than cash could ever be. That’s why you’ll often find that if you and your loved ones run on completely different schedules, you’ll end up bickering about it. Family time is important and at the most basic level, the way to fix this would be to align your schedule more closely with those around you but that isn’t always possible. That’s why it’s important to schedule family time into everyone’s calendar at least once a week so you can all feel loved, connected and supported. This may seem like a small tip but many people neglect it even though it can do wonders for reducing arguments.

So there you have it, the four most common argument triggers and how to defuse them. Think about which ones you’re guilty of and what changes you’ll be making to fix them.

Photo by Christian Fregnan on Unsplash

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