When we think of wedding planning, we tend to focus on our own weddings. We think of what dresses we’d like to wear. What food we’d put on. Which of our loved ones, colleagues, and general acquaintances we would invite. Where we want the event to be hosted. But you may find that you find yourself planning more than just your own wedding in your lifetime. Your nearest and dearest may actually end up asking you to be their maid of honour, which will inevitably see you getting involved with their wedding planning and proceedings. So, if you are lucky enough to land the role of someone’s maid of honour, here’s everything you need to know to make their day as perfect as possible!
Know Your Responsibilities
The title of the “maid of honour” comes with a whole lot of responsibility. It is essentially a job description. You will have all sorts of duties and tasks to carry out in the run up to the big day and during the big day itself. So, it’s important that you familiarise yourself with exactly what is expected of you. Here are some common responsibilities that the maid of honour can expect to take on.
- Organising a bachelorette party
- Helping the bride to choose a dress
- Arranging dress fittings for the bridesmaids
- Making sure the bridesmaids know where they should be and when they should be there on the big day
- Standing next to the bride when she exchanges vows
Consult the Bride to Be Sure of What Is Expected
It’s important to remember that every bride is different and that every bride will have different expectations of you as a maid of honour. So, generally speaking, it’s best to speak to the bride and establish exactly what is expected of you early on in the process. This will help to remove any doubts or confusion as to what you should be doing. You can then make sure that you do the perfect job!
Abide by the Bride’s Wishes
Perhaps the most important thing to bear in mind when becoming a maid of honour is to abide by the bride’s wishes at all times. Sure, you can give advice and maybe encourage the bride to reconsider certain parts of the day that she is planning. But you should always prioritize her wants and preferences. You shouldn’t interfere with any part of the day for your own benefit. If the bride decides that the colour scheme for the wedding is white and rose pink, and wants all of her bridesmaids wearing rose pink, you are going to have to wear rose pink, no matter how bad it might clash with your complexion or hair. It doesn’t matter if it’s not your colour, it’s her big day and she has the final say on the matter. If the bride wants spicy food at the main meal and you don’t like spice, you’re going to just have to add a bit of yogurt or take your own snacks in your bag, because you can’t expect major factors of the day to revolve around you.
Arrange a Stand-Out Bachelorette Party
While you have plenty of responsibilities, perhaps the biggest is arranging the bachelorette party. Now, you may initially think that this will be no big deal. Chances are you’ve arranged plenty of nights out with the bride before this, or might even have arranged a birthday party or other celebration event for her. But bachelorette parties are a whole lot more difficult to pull off properly, and you’re going to have to put a whole lot of work into making everything perfect. Not only are you going to have to arrange a knock out event, but there’s going to be a whole lot of communication with a whole lot of people you probably don’t know required. So, here are a few steps that you should take in order to make a success of this part of your role.
Start Work Early
It’s best to start planning the bachelorette party sooner rather than later for a whole host of reasons. First, the bachelorette party tends to come pretty close in the run-up to the big day, and the bride’s calendar is likely to be jam-packed with things to do around this time. So by settling on a date way in advance, you can not only ensure that the bride will be free, but you will give her something to look forward to in the most hectic period of her wedding planning. Starting planning early also means that you can send out information to all attendees well in advance, giving everyone the opportunity to book time off work, arrange childcare if necessary, and make sure that they are free.
Try Something Different
Sure, you might head out to the same restaurant, bar, or club with your bestie on a regular basis, and this may seem like a surefire route to success, as you know they like the menu, atmosphere, or vibe of these places. But who wants to do the same old thing they do all the time for their bachelorette party. You want the bride to experience something exciting and new. This will make the event a whole lot more memorable, rather than allowing it to fade and meld into various other events she’s already attended.
Know Who to Invite
Knowing who to invite to a bachelorette party can be relatively difficult. If you and the bride to be share the same friendship group, things will be relatively simple, as you will already know and be able to get into contact with her nearest and dearest pals. However, if you mingle in different social circles, you may want to ask her who she wants to be there and who is a definite no when it comes to being invited. You want to make sure that you don’t invite individuals who are going to create trouble or cause drama.
Consider Multiple Events
Sometimes the bride to be’s loved ones will be completely different kinds of people. The bride may want to celebrate with her friends, but she may want to celebrate with her relatives too. Sometimes, it is a good idea to consider arranging multiple events, so that quality time can be spent with people from all aspects of her life. This will remove the problem of knowing whether to invite her elderly gran to the club with her friends or not.
A last sage piece of advice when it comes to being a great maid of honour is to be patient. We’re all familiar with the term “bridezilla”, and many brides do tend to get a bit snappy and irritable in the lead up to their big day. This is relatively understandable. They’re under a lot of pressure and they’re trying to make everything perfect for everyone involved. This is extremely difficult, and tensions are bound to get high. But you’re there for the bride to vent to. Be patient and as understanding as possible at all times, and everything should go smoothly.
Sure, being a maid of honour is a huge honour, but you need to remember that it is a large responsibility too. It’s up to you to make sure that a whole lot of things go well. So, make sure that you know what is expected of you, and do your best to live up to expectations!